BDSM Myths You Need to Stop Believing, According to Kink Experts

There are some major myths about BDSM—stuff you should stop believing, if you listen to kink experts. By now, you probably know that 50 Shades is not an accurate depiction of most BDSM relationships, nor does every practitioner suffer from personality disorders or childhood trauma. Nevertheless, these misperceptions persist.

BDSM is primarily a power exchange. That means that one partner consensually gives up control to another, who agrees to be the dominant partner. You might do this for various reasons, whether that’s “I have made 700 other decisions today and it’s your turn to be in charge,” or because you like the thrill of the unknown—at least in the bedroom.

Whatever your reasons for practicing kink, there are hundreds of twists on the theme. From impact play (spanking and beyond) to breath play (choking), there are plenty of ways you can find satisfaction… as long as you stop believing these BDSM myths:

• BDSM aficionados are sexual deviants: While Sigmund Freud might have thought that BDSM practitioners were sexual deviants or people suffering from unresolved trauma, the truth is that it’s estimated that as much as over 60 percent of the population engages in some sort of BDSM sexual practices. As long as all the people involved are informed, consenting adults, there’s nothing particularly deviant about a well-defined power exchange.
• Doms and subs are the only way to play: Maybe you believe that there has to be a dominant and submissive partner, or that men are always dominant and women are always submissive. That’s just not true. There are plenty of ways that you can engage in kink without designating doms and subs. Generally, gender has nothing to do with the roles, unless you enjoy BDSM because it allows you to subvert gender norms. Some people are “switches,” meaning they enjoy switching the dom/sub role from time to time.
• It’s all about sex, and nothing else: No one could blame you if you started out believing this myth. After all, sex is often the focus of BDSM. However, many couples enjoy making BDSM a part of their non-sexual lives, too—and some people engage in BDSM without any sex acts at all.
• You’re either kinky or vanilla: Like a kinky rainbow, BDSM is a spectrum. You can be at either of the far ends, but most people fall somewhere toward the middle—a little leather and ropes here, a little choking and whips there.
• It’s dangerous: Finally, some people believe BDSM is physically dangerous. There’s no denying that it can be, if you don’t take proper precautions. This is why it’s crucial that you communicate before each scene, set a safe word and take necessary precautions to keep everyone safe. Then you can feel free (and safe) to live out your wildest fantasies.

When you’re ready to explore your kinky BDSM fantasies, Monterey Stay & Play offers a safe and private environment. Get in touch with us today to book your visit—we look forward to welcoming you soon!

Categorised in: BDSM

This post was written by Writer