Five Ways to Help Your Dom Feel Comfortable Exploring BDSM More Deeply

So, you’ve decided to explore BDSM with your partner—but they’re a little hesitant about acting as a dom. Dominant partners usually enjoy control and guiding their submissives through scenes. However, even the most self-assured dom needs some care, so they can feel comfortable with your BDSM relationship. After all, being in charge all the time can be exhausting.

Here are a few ways you can contribute to your relationship so your dom feels comfortable with BDSM exploration:

• Communicate often: Communication is the key to all healthy, satisfying BDSM relationships. It’s not just a matter of communicating while you’re in the bedroom, either. You should both make an effort to talk about your relationship and sex life on a regular basis. Think of it as less of a performance review (although who wouldn’t want to be congratulated after a particularly great session?) and more of a way to build intimacy. It’s awkward at first, but you can start with a simple script. “I liked it when you did that thing, but I didn’t like that other thing as much” is an excellent place to start.
• Give them a break: Depending on your dom’s personality, they may not want to be in control in every area of life. Don’t expect them to be dominant in your entire relationship, unless that’s what you’ve agreed upon. Even so, everyone needs a break once in a while. That doesn’t mean that you need to switch roles—although plenty of couples love the occasional switch—but you can build some time for relaxation into your sex life. Chances are, they’ll love taking a little of the pressure off, and come back ready for more.
• Contribute ideas: Maybe half the fun of being submissive is never knowing what your dom will do next. That’s understandable, but it can also be exhausting for the dominant partner. Make sure you contribute ideas for scenes and specific things you want to try, too. Not only is it good to speak up, but it will help keep communication flowing.
• Take care of them in everyday life: Back rubs, coffee in bed, picking up their favorite flowers and putting your dirty socks in the hamper—those little acts might not seem like part of your sex life, but they have a cumulative effect. When your partner feels loved and cared for, they’re much more likely to have time, energy and desire for a robust sex life. This doesn’t only apply to BDSM relationships, of course, but it’s especially important for a dom, since they often act as caretakers.
• Have a sense of humor: Finally, make sure you have a sense of humor about everything. No dom is perfect, and no scene is guaranteed to go off without a hitch. Having patience and humor will improve your relationship both in and out of the bedroom.

When your dom is ready for deeper BDSM exploration, the Monterey Stay & Play is here to help. Get in touch to learn more and book your visit today!

Categorised in: BDSM

This post was written by Writer