Obedience Is a Gift

March 19, 2021 5:23 am Published by Leave your thoughts

BDSM is a sexual spectrum. There’s no single definition of what it means to partake in the lifestyle, including acts or behaviors anyone “must” engage in. However, obedience is often a prevalent facet of BDSM scenes. Dominant and submissive partners tend to enjoy the power exchange dynamic that BDSM offers.

Read on for an overview of obedience, and why you might use that as part of your BDSM exploration.

Dominant and submissive partners

You might have read about people referring to themselves as “doms” or “subs,” which indicates whether they prefer to be the dominant partner or the submissive one. Anyone can be the submissive partner, regardless of sex, gender or sexual preferences. The key is that they willingly give up control to the dominant partner, with the expectation that this will fulfill them sexually and often psychologically.

How obedience works in the BDSM lifestyle

Submission and obedience doesn’t always have to be sexual—although it often is how people picture a BDSM relationship. For long-term couples in the lifestyle, obedience can also include other facets, such as household obligations, habits and more. In fact, there’s even an app for that: the Obedience app tracks habits and commands, and helps the couple set up a reward and punishment system.

Of course, surrendering control to the dominant partner doesn’t mean that a submissive has no choice whatsoever. A healthy BDSM relationship will include judicious use of safe words and limitations. For example, many couples practicing BDSM designate certain areas of life “off limits,” like jobs and family. (Explaining to Mom and Dad why your partner is commanding you to do certain things can be an awkward conversation, and it’s not polite to subject other people to your sex life, anyway—even if you remain fully clothed).

The goal of being an obedient submissive is to give the dominant partner a gift: they know that the submissive will do whatever they ask, within reason. This can prove to be an exciting psychological and sexual dynamic for some.

Why people choose to be obedient

Why would anyone choose to be bossed around? It depends on who you ask. Some BDSM aficionados describe their lack of control as comforting. After all, people tend to like rules and structure. What is expected of me at any given moment? If you’re a submissive, you don’t need to worry about that—your partner will tell you. That can be compelling for people who have to remain in control at work and other situations.

Others find that BDSM and being an obedient submissive is a fun way to challenge their partner. Anyone who enjoys impact play and “funishment” will probably enjoy breaking the rules, just to see what happens. Still others enjoy feeling pursued or conquered, or making their partner “earn” their obedience through dominant behaviors.

Whatever the reason you’re interested in obedience in BDSM, it can be a fun addition to your sex life. Consider exploring this facet of your relationship at the Monterey Stay and Play—call us today to book your visit.

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