The Essential Role of Consent in BDSM

Exploring new ways to get intimate with your partner can be a wonderful experience for both of you. While checking out the different things you can try, you may discover that the two of you have a mutual interest in trying out BDSM.

BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, and submission/sadomasochism. As you’ve probably deduced from the acronym, it refers to more than one thing. Numerous types of sexual practices are considered forms of BDSM.

However, BDSM is not something you should jump into right away. Before you try out aspects of BDSM together with your partner, it’s important to review the topic of consent.

The Importance of Consent in BDSM

Consent and BDSM must always go hand in hand. You cannot practice any kind of BDSM without first securing consent from your partner.

Engaging in BDSM without your partner providing enthusiastic consent beforehand means you have crossed the line. Aside from harming your partner physically, mentally, and emotionally, you could also find yourself dealing with legal troubles as a result of your actions.

To put it simply, consent must be clearly established on both sides if you and your partner want to try BDSM.

How Consent Works

If this is the first time you’re trying out BDSM together with your partner, you should be aware of how consent works. Knowing that is crucial because you and your partner are about to venture into something new. There should be no confusion on either end regarding the nature of consent.

Consent Can Be Withdrawn

First off, you must remember that consent is not permanent.

Let’s say that your partner says that they are open to experimenting with some bondage. After receiving their consent, the two of you start to try it out.

At first, your partner may be aroused by it. However, they may start to panic not long after. They may discover they are not fond of feeling restrained and ask you to stop. You need to stop as soon as they ask you to. That is an example of your partner withdrawing their consent, and you must acknowledge that.

Note, too, that your partner does not need to justify why they are withdrawing their consent. If they are uncomfortable with something, they have a right to put an end to that.

Consent May Have to Be Sought Multiple Times

Consent is also not a blanket approval for everything.

Your partner may agree to try bondage, but they may not approve of wax play or other examples of BDSM.

Before you start engaging in another form of BDSM, go to your partner again and ask if they consent to it. There is no such thing as communicating with your partner too much when it comes to consent and sex, so go ahead and discuss matters clearly.

Consent Must Be Given Free of Pressure

We also want to mention that consent is not something you should obtain through applying pressure. When you ask your partner if they want to try something, they should have the freedom to make their choice without you pressuring them in any way.

Even if they say “yes,” you should look at their body language and expression to see if they are offering that consent enthusiastically. In reality, they may just be giving their consent to please you even if they are no longer having fun.

If consent is only given under duress, then it is not valid.

Experimenting with BDSM together with your partner can be a positive experience as long as the two of you consent freely to it. Don’t forget about the importance of consent in BDSM, or else an exciting experience can quickly turn sour.

Categorised in: BDSM

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