Understanding FLR (Female-Led Relationships)

Have you been curious about female-led relationships (FLR) and how to incorporate them into your existing relationship? You’re not alone—and you’re not limited to BDSM practices, either. Although FLR originated within the BDSM and kink community, the term has now expanded to include relationships where a woman has more power than the man. This could be in the bedroom, but could also refer to their status as breadwinner, decision-making authority or other power dynamics.

Of course, many couples find that an FLR is also an exciting part of their sex life. If you’re a woman who loves to be in control—or you’re a man who is interested in becoming submissive—FLR can be a fun way to take that dynamic to the next level.

The “head of the household”

In traditional or socially conservative societies, men are often regarded as the head of the household. A woman’s role might involve caring for children, completing the housework or other domestic duties. In contrast, a female-led relationship is any relationship where the woman has more financial, sexual and social power. Whether that extends past the bedroom varies between couples—some like to let the FLR dynamic pervade their entire relationship, while others enjoy it as a fun kink on occasion.

Like any BDSM practice, there’s no hard and fast rule as to how an FLR functions. That’s up to the partners to discuss beforehand—and they should, since consent is paramount. You wouldn’t walk up to your husband and whip him for speaking out of turn without discussing that first… or at least, we hope not. (Even consensual FLR needs safe words and limits.)

Generally, people who enjoy FLR get a kick out of subverting antiquated social norms. Some people describe it as freeing, while others enjoy getting a taste of what they perceive the opposite sex “gets” to enjoy.

Types of FLRs

FLRs can be classified into three broad categories: low, moderate-to-high and complete control. Low control relationships might involve a woman who earns the same or more than her male partner, or who prefers to take a dominant role in the bedroom only.

Moderate to high control FLRs often acknowledge the woman as the breadwinner. She might have more decision-making authority, is responsible for initiating sex and expects the male partner to take care of all of the domestic duties.

Finally, complete control FLRs embrace that power dynamic in every aspect of life. From their sex life to domestic life, complete control is a total power exchange. Since this is the most extreme type of FLR, it shouldn’t be entered into lightly—you’ll need to discuss boundaries, consent and other issues with your partner well beforehand.

Remember, even FLRs require periodic recalibrating. Make sure to check in with your partner to ensure they’re still enjoying the experience—and then go back to being as bossy as you both desire.

Interested in exploring your own FLR dynamic in a safe, private setting? Book your visit at the Monterey Stay and Play today.

Categorised in: BDSM

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