Ways to Safely Participate in BDSM

So, you want to try BDSM, but you’re worried about your personal, emotional and physical safety. That’s completely understandable. Thankfully, when you have the right partner, there are plenty of ways to participate in safe BDSM.

There’s no way to completely eliminate the risks involved with BDSM. That’s why it’s so important to only give it a try with someone you trust implicitly—and who will sit down with you to talk about boundaries, expectations and other issues. If you are giving up physical power to another person, there’s always the chance that they can take advantage.

We want you to be safe when practicing BDSM. Here are some tips to make sure your experience will be fun and enjoyable.

Start with open communication

The most important part of BDSM is also the most counterintuitive: communication. If you’re the submissive partner, waiting for the dominant one to swoop in and take you to the heights of ecstasy, you might not want to have that awkward conversation beforehand. However, that’s just the truth of being an emotionally and sexually healthy adult: you have to be able to talk about it.

Sit down with your partner and tell them ahead of time what you’d like to happen. If you have certain fantasies, why not use movie, literature or even pornography clips to help illustrate what you like? Don’t expect them to read your mind—especially when it comes to boundaries.

Set parameters

Speaking of boundaries, the two of you need to set parameters for what you enjoy. For example, perhaps you love the idea of being tied up and teased, but you don’t want any sort of pain or impact play. That’s something you need communicate before you and your partner get naked.

Most importantly, decide on a safe word, and remember that all activity must stop immediately when it is uttered.

Introduce tools slowly

If you’re thinking about introducing tools—like restraints, impact play tools, gags, blindfolds or other BDSM accessories—make sure you introduce them slowly. Remember that successful BDSM play relies on full consent from all parties. Your partner might think it’s fun to use a paddle, or be tied up occasionally, but that doesn’t mean you can grab an anal plug and go to town without consent. Remember that you’re engaging with a real human being, and go at their pace—not yours.

Have a plan if something doesn’t work

Finally, make sure you have a plan if the scene doesn’t go as expected. If you’re a romantic as well as sexual couple, you might want to curl up in a blanket and enjoy some quiet time. Even if you’re not romantic, find a way you can give your partner what they need to recover from the experience. There are plenty of ways to participate in BDSM, which can satisfy the sexual and emotional needs of all parties. Your goal should be to meet all of them.

If you’re ready to participate in safe BDSM, book a stay at the Monterey Stay and Play today.

Categorised in: BDSM

This post was written by Writer