What Is Aftercare in BDSM?

BDSM, either as an occasional practice or a lifestyle, doesn’t stop when the sex acts are over. Aftercare is a crucial component after any scene—it’s a chance for the participants to recalibrate after intense sex. What is BDSM aftercare, and how do you do it properly? Read on for some tips.

Why is aftercare important?

Most people who enjoy BDSM don’t make it the entire focus of their relationship, and even if they do, aftercare is still important. It’s a way for partners to connect, reassure each other and recover. Sometimes it’s physically or emotionally difficult to switch gears from a scene and return to “normal” life. Aftercare makes it easier to come down from the intense emotions and physical sensations.

Even though BDSM should always be consensual, it can still be difficult to compartmentalize the feelings afterward. That’s because after a scene, the adrenaline and endorphins drop, leading to a crash. This can present itself physically, through shivering, shaking, nausea and lethargy, as well as emotionally. Both subs and doms need aftercare—and you might find that it brings you even closer together.

How to incorporate aftercare in your BDSM relationship

Try these suggestions to make aftercare a priority after your next BDSM encounter. Remember, everyone is different, so check in with your partner about what they need. It may even change from session to session:

• Verbal reassurance: Some folks have conflicting emotions about BDSM and whether it’s “okay” to enjoy it—even people who think they’re totally fine with the practice. Verbal reassurance can take the form of telling your partner that it’s normal to enjoy the sensations and experience the resulting emotions, letting them know you’re there for them and more.
• Gentle physical contact: Soothing physical touch provides a comforting contrast between intense or painful touch during a scene. It also releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone.
• Blankets and soft clothing: Comfort is key here. Make sure you have plenty of blankets, pillows and soft, comfortable clothing. Make sure you remove all BDSM gear. If you tend to experience temperature increases or sudden drops, look for breathable fabrics.
• Hot baths: Hot baths aren’t just for relaxing after a long day at work. They’re also a soothing part of BDSM aftercare.
• Physical care: This can include cleaning and disinfecting any wounds, using lotion to soothe sore skin and more.
• Hydration and nutrition: The longer and more intense your scene, the better it is to have handy sources of hydration (like Gatorade or water) and nutrition (in case of a blood sugar drop).
• Sleep: Sleep is a great way to recover—another good reason to have plenty of blankets and pillows on hand!
• Talking about the scene: Finally, make sure that you and your partner talk about the scene, whether right afterward, hours or even days later. It helps process your emotions and fosters better connections.

Ready to get away from it all and explore BDSM in a private environment? Reach out to book a visit at the Monterey Stay & Play today.

Categorised in: BDSM

This post was written by Writer