Time Outs: Bondage Works Best!

June 4, 2021 1:24 am Published by Leave your thoughts

Are you thinking about adding punishments to your BDSM play? Not all of them have to be of the whips, canes and clamps variety. Sometimes a bondage time out can be an extremely effective way to adjust your submissive’s behavior. As long as you both discuss punishments, potential length and limits, you can use time outs to create anticipation, punishment or both.

Here’s how to get started when you’re looking to use time outs in your BDSM relationship:

  • Remember that time outs are discipline: Discipline can be a fun way to establish dominance—reward the good behavior and punish the bad—but they should never come from a place of anger or disrespect. It can help to think of discipline as “consequences” so cooler heads will prevail.
  • Set limits: Before you enter into a relationship where discipline is a factor—even just a bondage time out—you need to make sure both parties are on board. Be sure to set limits. What seems like sexy fun when talking about it can be different in practice, so have a safe word and some hard limits.
  • Don’t forget to establish what merits a time out: For effective discipline, you need to make it clear what the time out is a consequence for. Just like children and pets, you can’t expect a submissive to automatically understand the rules or know why they’re being punished without explanation.
  • Plan on aftercare: BDSM can be a physically and emotionally intense experience. Plan to have plenty of aftercare, in whatever form the two of you enjoy most.

Once you have these basic parameters set, it’s time to pull out the handcuffs.

How to use time outs

Time outs can be a way of punishing unwanted behaviors, but it’s also a fun way to create anticipation. Your submissive might stand in the corner with their arms and legs bound, gagged, for an unspecified amount of time. Meanwhile, they’re wondering if this is the only punishment, whether you’ll have sex afterwards, whether you’ll let them orgasm and more.

You can tie them up for a few minutes, a few hours or even most of the day—just check in periodically to make sure their needs are met. They still need to eat, drink water and use the restroom, even if they’ve been very naughty.

Some couples like to make the submissive wear something humiliating during the time out, while other dominant players might want to force their submissive to watch as they touch themselves. You can have them kneel, squat, stand or sit. Perhaps they’re forced to hold a quarter to the wall with their nose—if they drop it, you can punish them further.)

When the punishment is over, it’s up to you what you do next. Will you force them to apologize and explain why their behavior was bad? Will you finally give them the orgasm you’ve been denying for hours? It’s up to you—and your predetermined limits.

Call the Monterey Stay and Play to book your BDSM getaway today. We’re the perfect place to experiment with BDSM time outs and enjoy other new experiences.

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