Whether you’re new to the BDSM scene or you’d like to improve your existing relationship, there are a few ways a submissive can draw out their partner’s dominant side. Making a better dominant is a team effort: it takes communication, consent and plenty of planning from both parties.
If your partner is having trouble embracing their inner (or outer) dom, here are some ways you can help draw out their dominant side.
Consent and communication
Consent is a hallmark of any healthy BDSM relationship. Communication is equally important. Although it can be awkward to tell your partner what exactly you’d like them to do to you, it’s a key part of the relationship. Start by setting limits and a safe word, if you haven’t already.
Once you’ve established the basic parameters, you can start talking about the details. What fantasies do you want to try, and which are fun to think about, but not act upon? What are you willing to try, even if it’s not your favorite fantasy? If it’s difficult to initiate this conversation, you can always write a letter or email. You could also approach the conversation by bringing up examples of things you’ve already tried, liked and want to expand upon.
Once you’ve talked over your boundaries and fantasies, you can figure out where you’re in agreement and what you’d like to try next. With your consent and conversation, your dom should feel more comfortable.
Sex acts and submissive talk
Another way to make your dominant partner feel comfortable in their role is by focusing on your role as a submissive. Although it might feel counterintuitive, showing deference can make the dominant partner feel less self-conscious. For instance, you might focus on sex acts that involve kneeling or other clearly submissive postures. If you two enjoy bondage, offer them the bindings and your willingness to engage.
Submissive talk can also help both of you get in the mood: try phrases like “I’m yours” or “you own me.” If you’re both already comfortable with explicit talk, you can make it as dirty as you’d like. Pay attention to what your partner responds to, then use that to help make them a better dominant.
Outside the bedroom
You can also work on your relationship outside of the bedroom. Many sub/dom relationships thrive on everyday interactions. This could be anything from always serving your dom dinner first, to cleaning or laying out their clothes for them. These acts of devotion can help cement your partner’s role as a dominant—and most people enjoy taking care of their partner anyway.
However you choose to use your submissive role to draw out your dom, making a better dominant partner is a team effort. As long as you have clear boundaries and full consent, you’re bound to enjoy a more exciting time in the bedroom.
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Categorised in: Dominance
This post was written by Writer